


the gang goes to college

by halfwheeze



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: F/M, Long Distance Relationship, M/M, Multi, long distance polyship, text fic, texting fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-01-18
Packaged: 2019-03-05 23:15:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13398324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halfwheeze/pseuds/halfwheeze
Summary: When the Losers Club goes off to different colleges across all kinds of timezones, one thing seems to be keeping them going: the groupchat.





	1. First Day

**Author's Note:**

> This is a trainwreck.

[ To set the scene, in GMT (where lies the lonely Bill Denbrough), it is 12 am. In EST (where lie Mike Hanlon, Eddie Kaspbrak and Stan Uris), is it 7 pm. In CST (where lie Beverly Marsh and Ben Hanscom), it is 6 pm. And for the equally lonely Richie Tozier in PST, it is 4 pm. ]

 

[ LE TRASHMOUTH EXTRA-ORDINAIRE ]: i’m LONELY and GAY

 

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: We’re all lonely and gay, bitchass

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: i miss you

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: if you make fun of me i’m outtie

 

[ Stan the Man ]: Group discord video call later?

 

[ Bevver than You ]: Did Rich change my name again?

[ Bevver than You ]: Because I like this one

 

[ LE TRASHMOUTH EXTRA-ORDINAIRE ]: Fuck yeah I did

[ LE TRASHMOUTH EXTRA-ORDINAIRE ]: Anyway, pls Staniel

[ LE TRASHMOUTH EXTRA-ORDINAIRE ]: anyone else lovin stan in this chili’s tonight

 

[ Stan the Man ]: It’s 4 pm for you, jackass.

[ Stan the Man ]: Love you too.

 

[ Daddy ]: I swear to god, go to bed.

 

[ Stan the Man ]: WHO CHANGED BILL’S NAME?

[ Stan the Man ]: WHICH ONE OF YOU DEMONS??

[ Stan the Man ]: RICHARD???

 

[ LE TRASHMOUTH EXTRA-ORDINAIRE ]: I SWEAR TO FUCK IT WASN’T ME THIS TIME???

[ LE TRASHMOUTH EXTRA-ORDINAIRE ]: THOUGH THAT IS FUCKING HILARIOUS, NON

[ LE TRASHMOUTH EXTRA-ORDINAIRE ]: NOT ME

[ LE TRASHMOUTH EXTRA-ORDINAIRE ]: also, billiam, it’s 4pm for me

 

[ Stan the Man ]: BEVERLY??

[ Stan the Man ]: BENJAMIN???

 

[ Bevver than You ]: I wish I had, Stanny

 

[ Benner than You ]: Not me either.

[ Benner than You ]: Thanks, Rich.

 

[ LE TRASHMOUTH EXTRA-ORDINAIRE ]: Any time, Benward.

[ LE TRASHMOUTH EXTRA-ORDINAIRE ]: Which brings us to the real culprit: There’s a reason why Spaghetti Man hasn’t said anything

 

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: First of all, it’s right in the fucking name.

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: And second of all,,,

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: Maybe so.

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: But check Mike’s name lmao.

 

[ The Real Kink Inspirer ]: What have you done?

 

[ LE TRASHMOUTH EXTRA-ORDINAIRE ]: OH MY GOD

 

[ Bevver than You ]: EDDIE

 

[ Stan the Man ]: ,,,

[ Stan the Man ]: Where’s the lie, tho?

 

[ Daddy ]: I’m not changing my name.

[ Daddy ]: Mike don’t change yours.

 

[ The Real Kink Inspirer ]: Wasn’t planning on it.

 

[ LE TRASHMOUTH EXTRA-ORDINAIRE ]: Eddie, a true hero, speaking all of our truths.

 

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: I’m dropping out.

 

[ Stan the Man ]: YOU JUST STARTED SCHOOL AND WE DON’T EVEN GO WITH YOU.

 

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: That’s the problem

 

[ LE TRASHMOUTH EXTRA-ORDINAIRE ]: Aw, Eds

[ LE TRASHMOUTH EXTRA-ORDINAIRE ]: We’ll all be back together again during Winter Break

 

[ Daddy ]: You’ll be fine, Eddie.

[ Daddy ]: We can do this.

 

[ The Real Kink Inspirer ]: I’m 3.5 hours away whenever you need me, Eddie

 

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: I miss everyone

 

[ Bevver than You ]: NO SADNESS

[ Bevver than You ]: LET’S PLAY A GAME

 

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: Bevs I don’t think a game is gonna bring me out of this

 

[ Bevver than You ]: then play because I’m sad?

 

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: Yeah, okay. I’ll play

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: What are we playing?

 

[ LE TRASHMOUTH EXTRA-ORDINAIRE ]: I’d suggest 20q but I know all of your weird kinks

 

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: Do not underestimate me, Richard.

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: Anyway.

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: Beverly?

 

[ Stan the Man ]: I hate to sound like Rich.

[ Stan the Man ]: But you can’t just leave us hanging.

[ Stan the Man ]: What have you been holding out Eddie?

 

[ LE TRASHMOUTH EXTRA-ORDINAIRE ]: I resent that

[ LE TRASHMOUTH EXTRA-ORDINAIRE ]: But i’m too curious to linger

 

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: BEVERLY?

 

[ Bevver than You ]: We’re playing leave Eddie alone until he’s ready

[ Bevver than You ]: And a game of would you rather

[ Bevver than You ]: Keep it PG, trashmouth

 

[ LE TRASHMOUTH EXTRA-ORDINAIRE ]: :(((((((

[ LE TRASHMOUTH EXTRA-ORDINAIRE ]: But Beeeeeevvvvvsssss

[ LE TRASHMOUTH EXTRA-ORDINAIRE ]: Okay

[ LE TRASHMOUTH EXTRA-ORDINAIRE ]: Would you guys rather have to go through freshman year all over again

[ LE TRASHMOUTH EXTRA-ORDINAIRE ]: Or stick your hand in a blender?

 

[ Bevver than You ]: Blender.

 

[ Benner than You ]: Blender.

 

[ Stan the Man ]: Blender.

 

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: Freshman.

 

[ Daddy ]: Freshman.

 

[ The Real Kink Inspirer ]: Freshman.

 

[ LE TRASHMOUTH EXTRA-ORDINAIRE ]: Was not expecting the dichotomy tbh.

[ LE TRASHMOUTH EXTRA-ORDINAIRE ]: Reasons?

[ LE TRASHMOUTH EXTRA-ORDINAIRE ]: Everyone, not just the people who would repeat freshman.

 

[ Bevver than You ]: Greta, The Office Chair Incident, the moving back and forth thing before coming back to Derry, etc.

 

[ Benner than You ]: Bevs going through shit, bullying, the losing weight thing.

 

[ Stan the Man ]: Queer Jewish Boy + public high school = fuck you.

 

[ Daddy ]: Why in God’s name would I stick my hand in a blender?

 

[ The Real Kink Inspirer ]: ^^^.

[ The Real Kink Inspirer ]: Also it was my first year with you guys in school.

 

[ LE TRASHMOUTH EXTRA-ORDINAIRE ]: Come on, Spaghetti Man.

 

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: Don’t call me that.

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: I thought about it and

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: No matter how bad freshman was

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: I still had you guys

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: So Yeah

 

[ LE TRASHMOUTH EXTRA-ORDINAIRE ]: WOW I’M LOVING EDS IN THIS CHILIS TONIGHT WOW GONNA WALK TO NYC TO HOLD A HAND

 

[ The Real Kink Inspirer ]: Okay now i’m sadder and gayer than expected

[ The Real Kink Inspirer ]: I am also loving Eddie in this Chilis

[ The Real Kink Inspirer ]: Me? Already planning how to get from Boston to NYC over Fall Break? Maybe so.

 

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: Me? Already about to cry? Maybe so.

 

[ LE TRASHMOUTH EXTRA-ORDINAIRE ]: My fall break is 2 weeks,,,

[ LE TRASHMOUTH EXTRA-ORDINAIRE ]: :)

 

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: We can’t be living visit to visit, guys.

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: Especially when not everyone can come home.

 

[ Daddy ]: I love how you say come home like we’re going to Derry

[ Daddy ]: When really all we wanna do is come home to each other

 

[ Stan the Man ]: WHAT

[ Stan the Man ]: THE

[ Stan the Man ]: FUCK

[ Stan the Man ]: I’M

[ Stan the Man ]: GAY

 

[ Benner than You ]: School is looking less and less appealing

[ Benner than You ]: I love architecture

[ Benner than You ]: I love architecture

[ Benner than You ]: I love architecture

 

[ Bevver than You ]: I love my datemates and I wanna come home

 

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: We’re!

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: Not!

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: Sad!

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: ANYWAY

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: Would you rather use the same scented hand soap for the rest of your life or the same cologne/perfume?

 

[ Stan the Man ]: This is targetting.

[ Stan the Man ]: Cologne.

 

[ LE TRASHMOUTH EXTRA-ORDINAIRE ]: wtf soap

 

[ Bevver than You ]: Soap.

 

[ Benner than You ]: Cologne.   


[ The Real Kink Inspirer ]: Soap.

 

[ Daddy ]: Soap.

 

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: Explanations?

 

[ Stan the Man ]: Fuck you.

[ Stan the Man ]: I use the soaps more.

 

[ Bevver than You ]: Targetting is now Illegal.

[ Bevver than You ]: Anyway, I like changing perfumes.

 

[ LE TRASHMOUTH EXTRA-ORDINAIRE ]: I have to find a cologne all of you like and that’s not gonna happen in one go.

 

[ The Real Kink Inspirer ]: That’s gay

[ The Real Kink Inspirer ]: Anyway, I like switching some

 

[ Daddy ]: Ditto

 

[ LE TRASHMOUTH EXTRA-ORDINAIRE ]: Benny?

 

[ Benner than You ]: Oh, yeah

[ Benner than You ]: I don’t wear cologne, so it’s not really an issue for me?

[ LE TRASHMOUTH EXTRA-ORDINAIRE ]: WHAT THE FUCK???

 

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: BUT YOU SMELL SO GOOD?????

 

[ Stan the Man ]: ?????????

 

[ Bevver than You ]: Ben is a God among men, idk

 

[ Benner than You ]: I just use deodorant?

 

[ Daddy ]: As much as I love Ben appreciation

[ Daddy ]: And boy do I love ben appreciation

[ Daddy ]: I need to go to bed

 

[ LE TRASHMOUTH EXTRA-ORDINAIRE ]: (Daddy needs to go to bed)

 

[ Stan the Man ]: RICHARD I SWEAR TO FUCK

 

[ LE TRASHMOUTH EXTRA-ORDINAIRE ]: YOU SWEAR WHAT, STANIEL

 

[ Stan the Man ]: I WILL FIGHT YOU

 

[ LE TRASHMOUTH EXTRA-ORDINAIRE ]: You can fight me any time, sweetcheeks

 

[ Daddy ]: ANYWAY

[ Daddy ]: Trying to go to bed.

[ Daddy ]: I love you guys.

[ Daddy ]: Goodnight.

 

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: Night, Daddy.

 

[ Stan the Man ]: E D W A R D.


	2. two weeks later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISASTER LMAO

[ To set the scene, it has been two weeks since the beginning of school, and all but Richie Tozier, who, despite reputation, is a fast-working nerd, are drowning in work for their classes. In GMT (where lies the lonely Bill Denbrough), it is 3 pm. In EST (where lie Mike Hanlon, Eddie Kaspbrak and Stan Uris), is it 10 am. In CST (where lie Beverly Marsh and Ben Hanscom), it is 9 am. And for the equally lonely Richie Tozier in PST, it is 7 am. ]

[ To further set the scene, some contact names have been changed. Mike Hanlon, for example, is now known as ‘Sunlight Boy,’ because he sent a selfie in the groupchat and Stan Uris is gay. Eddie Kaspbrak got tired of the all-caps nature of Richie Tozier’s name, and thus changed it to a simple ‘Garbage.’ The names of the rest remain the same. ] 

 

[ Daddy ]: Hi why did I think English was a good major 

[ Daddy ]: I’m gonna get in a fist fight with these trustfund pieces of shit who think they know everything 

 

[ Garbage ]: Settle down, Billy Boy

[ Garbage ]: It’s early as fuck

[ Garbage ]: No murder before nine

 

[ Daddy ]: Well, it’s already 3pm for me. 

[ Daddy ]: Guess it’s just payback for texting at me at three in the morning with memes :)

 

[ Garbage ]: That was an accident!!!

[ Garbage ]: Also not to be gay but I miss Bill!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

[ Garbage ]: okay google how to: hug someone from 5390 miles away? 

 

[ Sunlight Boy ]: Did you go and calculate that? 

 

[ Stan the Man ]: Me and Rich figured out the numbers before everyone left. 

[ Stan the Man ]: Thought it would be good to know. 

 

[ Garbage ]: Instead it just makes me sad! :) :) :)

 

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: Oof, Rich :( 

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: How far from LA to NYC? 

 

[ Garbage ]: Our distance is 2797

[ Garbage ]: Me and Bev is 2015 

[ Garbage ]: Me and Ben is 1377 

[ Garbage ]: Me and Mike is 2983

[ Garbage ]: Me and Stan is 2541 

[ Garbage ]: God I’m fuckin sad

 

[ Sunlight Boy ]: Me too, the fuck. 

[ Sunlight Boy ]: @Bev we’re sad again

[ Sunlight Boy ]: McHelp

 

[ Bevver than You ]: Ugh, fine. 

[ Bevver than You ]: Everyone, describe your classes in three words. 

 

[ Sunlight Boy ]: Fun, interesting, difficult. 

 

[ Garbage ]: Not distracting enough. 

 

[ Benner than You ]: I love architecture. 

 

[ Daddy ]: Old white men. 

 

[ Stan the Man ]: Math and religion. 

 

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: Ditto to Richie. 

 

[ Bevver than You ]: First, I’m impressed with how well you guys did 

[ Bevver than You ]: Second, here’s mine: 

[ Bevver than You ]: Fashion is awesome. 

 

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: I miss you guys was too many words 

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: But rich had my back 

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: So there’s that

 

[ Garbage ]: Anytime, Eds

 

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: I’m not even mad because I miss you smh

 

[ Stan the Man ]: WE’RE VIDEO CHATTING LATER, IT’S REQUIRED NOW WHAT THE FUCK 

 

[ Sunlight Boy ]: You got it, Stanny

 

[ Daddy ]: I’m in, depending on how late later is

 

[ Garbage ]: Anyway 

[ Garbage ]: Guess who has gotten asked out on three dates since he started working at Starbucks

 

[ Stan the Man ]: Your more attractive co-worker? 

 

[ Garbage ]: :( Staniel 

 

[ Stan the Man ]: Fine. I’ll play. 

[ Stan the Man ]: You? 

 

[ Garbage ]: HELL YEAH IT’S ME

 

[ Sunlight Boy ]: You’re taken six times over. 

[ Sunlight Boy ]: Why does is matter? 

 

[ Garbage ]: IT’S THE PRINCIPLE. 

 

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: You said no, right? 

 

[ Garbage ]: Of course I did, Spaghetti Man! 

[ Garbage ]: This groupchat represents the only ones for me!

 

[ Benner than You ]: Gay. 

 

[ Garbage ]: HELL YEAH IT IS 

 

[ Daddy ]: If it’s early for you

[ Daddy ]: Why are you yelling, Richard? 

 

[ Garbage ]: BECAUSE I DAMN WELL CAN 

[ Garbage ]: WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT, DENBROUGH 

 

[ Daddy ]: FIGHT YOU 

 

[ Garbage ]: COOL COOL AT LEAST I’LL GET TO SEE YOU 

 

[ Bevver than You ]: GAY what the fuck 

 

[ Garbage ]: I’M SUPER FUCKIN GAY GUYS 

[ Garbage ]: WHO THE FUCK KNEW 

 

[ Stan the Man ]: God I knew

[ Stan the Man ]: Someone else should have been Richie’s best friend throughout early high school 

[ Stan the Man ]: We went over his crush on everyone in this groupchat at least eight times 

[ Stan the Man ]: Especially Eddie

[ Stan the Man ]: Goddamn esp Eddie

 

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: Aw babe you had a crush on me? 

 

[ Garbage ]: Edward, we’re dating

[ Garbage ]: I sure hope I did

 

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: Yeah but you told Stan about it

 

[ Stan the Man ]: Eddie shut your bitch ass up 

[ Stan the Man ]: You told Stan about it too 

[ Stan the Man ]: Everyone told Stan about it 

[ Stan the Man ]: I am a fountain of knowledge

[ Stan the Man ]: If you want to know about anyone’s pre-Junior year crush on you, I’m the guy smh 

 

[ Garbage ]: EXPOSURE

[ Garbage ]: LIES

[ Garbage ]: SLANDER

 

[ Stan the Man ]: When Ben started football, Richie cried and salivated at every fucking game. 

[ Stan the Man ]: You think he went to the bathroom to piss or something? 

[ Stan the Man ]: No, he was fixing his makeup because he was proud and Ben was hot. 

 

[ Garbage ]: STAN DON’T COME FOR ME LIKE THIS

[ Garbage ]: WHAT THE FUCK 

[ Garbage ]: I DON’T DESERVE THIS

 

[ Bevver than You ]: You had already started the makeup thing in freshman year? 

 

[ Garbage ]: Yeah, I wore concealer beneath my eyes, but that was about it

 

[ Sunlight Boy ]: Anyone feeling protective of Richie all of the sudden

 

[ Daddy ]: Did you mean: always? 

 

[ Garbage ]: Guys I was fine and I’m better now 

 

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: If you were fine, why are you better now? 

 

[ Garbage ]: Bev can we start a game of leave Richie alone maybe

 

[ Bevver than You ]: Got your back

[ Bevver than You ]: We’re playing leave Richie alone until he’s ready   
[ Bevver than You ]: And a game of fmk 

[ Bevver than You ]: FMK: Henry Bowers, an actual shoe, Vic Criss. 

 

[ Garbage ]: Fuck Vic, marry an actual shoe, kill Bowers. 

 

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: Fuck an actual shoe, marry Vic, kill Bowers. 

 

[ Benner than You ]: Fuck Bowers, marry Vic, kill an actual shoe. 

 

[ Sunlight Boy ]: Same as Ben

 

[ Daddy ]: Same as Ed

 

[ Stan the Man ]: Same as Rich

 

[ Bevver than You ]: Explanations? 

 

[ Garbage ]: Vic’s kinda okay lookin, the least racist of Bowers’ gang, not entirely a bad dude. Also FUCK HENRY BOWERS, AND IN NONE OF THE FUN WAYS. 

 

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: Fuck Bowers, but I’m not marrying a shoe. 

 

[ Benner than You ]: I don’t want to kill a person but marrying Bowers sounds like a lifelong torture sentence. 

 

[ Stan the Man ]: Richie got it. 

 

[ Sunlight Boy ]: Ditto to Ben. 

 

[ Daddy ]: Yeah, Eddie got mine. 

 

[ Stan the Man ]: I’m next. 

[ Stan the Man ]: FMK: Sam Wilson, Bucky Barnes, Clint Barton. 

 

[ Garbage ]: First of all, fuck you, Stanley Uris. 

[ Garbage ]: Fuck Sam, Marry Clint, Kill Bucky. 

 

[ Sunlight Boy ]: Fuck Bucky, Marry Sam, Kill Clint. 

 

[ Benner than You ]: Fuck Clint, Marry Bucky, Kill Sam. 

 

[ Bevver than You ]: Fuck Clint, Marry Sam, Kill Bucky. 

 

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: Fuck Sam, Marry Bucky, Kill Clint. 

 

[ Daddy ]: Fuck Bucky, Marry Clint, Kill Sam. 

 

[ Stan the Man ]: You guys literally picked all different answers. 

[ Stan the Man ]: I love it. 

[ Stan the Man ]: I don’t even want explanations because you guys all got different answers and it’s so pretty. 

[ Stan the Man ]: There were six possible answers and you guys got them. 

 

[ Bevver than You ]: Anyone else completely in love with Stan at this very moment

 

[ Benner than You ]: Completely. 

 

[ Daddy ]: Totally. 

 

[ Sunlight Boy ]: Every day. 

 

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: Yep. 

 

[ Garbage ]: Every single day of my life. 

[ Garbage ]: For as long as I’ve known him. 

[ Garbage ]: Y’all ever want Young Stan moments, lmk, since he was spillin secrets

 

[ Stan the Man ]: Richard please no. 

[ Stan the Man ]: I will literally send you nudes as we speak in a public bathroom if you do not do that. 

 

[ Garbage ]: Oh. 

[ Garbage ]: Yeah okay

 

[ Bevver than You ]: Me and Ben will both send you nudes if you do 

[ Bevver than You ]: (Right, Ben?)

 

[ Benner than You ]: Hell yeah lmao 

 

[ Garbage ]: Uh

 

[ Sunlight Boy ]: Nudes from me if we respect Stan. 

 

[ Garbage ]: U H 

 

[ Daddy ]: How about we stop using nudes as a bartering system? 

[ Daddy ]: And share everyone’s embarrassing stories because it’s funny

 

[ Stan the Man ]: BILL PLEASE. 

[ Stan the Man ]: Do not let them expose me like this. 

[ Stan the Man ]: I’ll send you nudes if you take my side? 

 

[ Daddy ]: Why does no one listen to all of the words I say? 

 

[ Garbage ]: Because we’re texting and thus reading? 

 

[ Daddy ]: Listen here you little shit 

 

[ Bevver than You ]: ANYWAY

[ Bevver than You ]: LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE 

 

[ Sunlight Boy ]: Well, I have a class in five, so I kinda gotta go 

[ Sunlight Boy ]: I miss you guys 

 

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: Love you, Mike 

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: I miss you guys too 

[ Do not call me Spaghetti Man ]: When is fall break again? 

 

[ Garbage ]: Not soon enough. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, lmk if you have any wants/prompts/ideas for where this fic should go along the way  
> lmk @hcckstetter on tumblr!

**Author's Note:**

> If you have any encouragement or, like, ways you want this to go (I have general ideas but wouldn't mind lil bubbles), let me know in the comments or hmu @hcckstetter on tumblr!


End file.
